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spookyeviloneOne of my brothers is finally coming home from the Middle East, in a very small box. His cremated remains arrive on Friday.
My brain is being very morbid about this. I'm tempted to wrap him in festive paper and put him under a Christmas tree. This would require me acquiring a Christmas tree. This would amuse the crap out of my brother, if he were around to see it.
At his request, he will be buried without military honors, privately, with the rest of our family. In his will, it states that he's been around gunfire all his life, what he wanted for his funeral was peace and quiet.
I kind of lost it on the poor DoD guy who called. My brother did not die 'defending America'. America is not currently threatened, invaded, or at war. My brother died during a police action in the Middle East, and I utterly resent it being implied that he died defending his country. Someone's country, someone's life and right to life and way of life, yes - but not his own country. IN SERVICE TO his country, but not defending it.
As I said, my brain is being very morbid. Take this as thoughts of someone still kind of in shock, and imagine my brother facepalming at any of these ideas. No disrespect is meant, and wouldn't be taken by the guy I'm talking about.
1) Reconstitute them - instant brother, just add water!
2) Use them as grit on the snow-covered path alongside my house.
3) Add them to the catbox as odor neutralizer.
4) Wrap him and put him under the tree. Need a tree.
5) Wrap him and mail him to Yet Another Brother. See how long we can keep him in postal circulation.
6) Mix with plaster, turn into garden gnome.
7) Mix with clay, glaze, kiln, cut into small bits and use as part of a mosaic.
8) Turn him into a LifeGem. Give to unsuspecting family member.
9) See how many canopic jars he'll fill. Make sure jars have silly faces.
10) Place in antique Planters Peanut jar. Glue googly eyes to jar.
11) Mix with metal, turn into key fob. Never lose keys again.
12) Pinata. Enough said.
13) Encapsulate ashes in Christmas ornaments. Send to family.
14) Snowglobe him.
15) Mix with concrete and turn him into an ornamental brick. Sneak into Como Zoo grounds, chisel out a plain brick, replace with Troy.
16) Burial at sea via the digestive tract of a large fish.
17) Probably would not make a tasty drink mix.
18) Fill bullets with him. Take Troy hunting one last time.
19) Fill bullet with him, engrave his name on it, wear as bling. NEVER EXPLAIN.
20) Probably couldn't make very good glass with him.
21) Use him to dye fabric, call it Cremain Grey.
22) Fire him from a canon.
23) Get a ceramic jar with "Ashes of Annoying People" on it. Fill jar with Troy. Watch people freak when they realize there's actual human ashes in it.
24) Mix with magnesium, turn into sparklers. Light on July 4.
25) Put in a chest, create treasure map, bury chest. Leave treasure map for descendants to find.
My brain is being very morbid about this. I'm tempted to wrap him in festive paper and put him under a Christmas tree. This would require me acquiring a Christmas tree. This would amuse the crap out of my brother, if he were around to see it.
At his request, he will be buried without military honors, privately, with the rest of our family. In his will, it states that he's been around gunfire all his life, what he wanted for his funeral was peace and quiet.
I kind of lost it on the poor DoD guy who called. My brother did not die 'defending America'. America is not currently threatened, invaded, or at war. My brother died during a police action in the Middle East, and I utterly resent it being implied that he died defending his country. Someone's country, someone's life and right to life and way of life, yes - but not his own country. IN SERVICE TO his country, but not defending it.
As I said, my brain is being very morbid. Take this as thoughts of someone still kind of in shock, and imagine my brother facepalming at any of these ideas. No disrespect is meant, and wouldn't be taken by the guy I'm talking about.
1) Reconstitute them - instant brother, just add water!
2) Use them as grit on the snow-covered path alongside my house.
3) Add them to the catbox as odor neutralizer.
4) Wrap him and put him under the tree. Need a tree.
5) Wrap him and mail him to Yet Another Brother. See how long we can keep him in postal circulation.
6) Mix with plaster, turn into garden gnome.
7) Mix with clay, glaze, kiln, cut into small bits and use as part of a mosaic.
8) Turn him into a LifeGem. Give to unsuspecting family member.
9) See how many canopic jars he'll fill. Make sure jars have silly faces.
10) Place in antique Planters Peanut jar. Glue googly eyes to jar.
11) Mix with metal, turn into key fob. Never lose keys again.
12) Pinata. Enough said.
13) Encapsulate ashes in Christmas ornaments. Send to family.
14) Snowglobe him.
15) Mix with concrete and turn him into an ornamental brick. Sneak into Como Zoo grounds, chisel out a plain brick, replace with Troy.
16) Burial at sea via the digestive tract of a large fish.
17) Probably would not make a tasty drink mix.
18) Fill bullets with him. Take Troy hunting one last time.
19) Fill bullet with him, engrave his name on it, wear as bling. NEVER EXPLAIN.
20) Probably couldn't make very good glass with him.
21) Use him to dye fabric, call it Cremain Grey.
22) Fire him from a canon.
23) Get a ceramic jar with "Ashes of Annoying People" on it. Fill jar with Troy. Watch people freak when they realize there's actual human ashes in it.
24) Mix with magnesium, turn into sparklers. Light on July 4.
25) Put in a chest, create treasure map, bury chest. Leave treasure map for descendants to find.
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Date: 2007-12-18 04:34 am (UTC)