My apologies to those of you seeing this twice.

[spookyevilone]

One of my brothers is finally coming home from the Middle East, in a very small box. His cremated remains arrive on Friday.

My brain is being very morbid about this. I'm tempted to wrap him in festive paper and put him under a Christmas tree. This would require me acquiring a Christmas tree. This would amuse the crap out of my brother, if he were around to see it.

At his request, he will be buried without military honors, privately, with the rest of our family. In his will, it states that he's been around gunfire all his life, what he wanted for his funeral was peace and quiet.

I kind of lost it on the poor DoD guy who called. My brother did not die 'defending America'. America is not currently threatened, invaded, or at war. My brother died during a police action in the Middle East, and I utterly resent it being implied that he died defending his country. Someone's country, someone's life and right to life and way of life, yes - but not his own country. IN SERVICE TO his country, but not defending it.

As I said, my brain is being very morbid. Take this as thoughts of someone still kind of in shock, and imagine my brother facepalming at any of these ideas. No disrespect is meant, and wouldn't be taken by the guy I'm talking about.


1) Reconstitute them - instant brother, just add water!
2) Use them as grit on the snow-covered path alongside my house.
3) Add them to the catbox as odor neutralizer.
4) Wrap him and put him under the tree. Need a tree.
5) Wrap him and mail him to Yet Another Brother. See how long we can keep him in postal circulation.
6) Mix with plaster, turn into garden gnome.
7) Mix with clay, glaze, kiln, cut into small bits and use as part of a mosaic.
8) Turn him into a LifeGem. Give to unsuspecting family member.
9) See how many canopic jars he'll fill. Make sure jars have silly faces.
10) Place in antique Planters Peanut jar. Glue googly eyes to jar.
11) Mix with metal, turn into key fob. Never lose keys again.
12) Pinata. Enough said.
13) Encapsulate ashes in Christmas ornaments. Send to family.
14) Snowglobe him.
15) Mix with concrete and turn him into an ornamental brick. Sneak into Como Zoo grounds, chisel out a plain brick, replace with Troy.
16) Burial at sea via the digestive tract of a large fish.
17) Probably would not make a tasty drink mix.
18) Fill bullets with him. Take Troy hunting one last time.
19) Fill bullet with him, engrave his name on it, wear as bling. NEVER EXPLAIN.
20) Probably couldn't make very good glass with him.
21) Use him to dye fabric, call it Cremain Grey.
22) Fire him from a canon.
23) Get a ceramic jar with "Ashes of Annoying People" on it. Fill jar with Troy. Watch people freak when they realize there's actual human ashes in it.
24) Mix with magnesium, turn into sparklers. Light on July 4.
25) Put in a chest, create treasure map, bury chest. Leave treasure map for descendants to find.

Comments

[neko038.livejournal.com]

Ok your morbidity is just to funny. Love the tree idea, the gnome, and the fish at sea.
Hrmmmm. :)
Did Alex and I ever tell you that if he dies first he is getting a full on Viking funeral with virgins riping their shirts off, a ship pushed out to sea with his body on it and then lite on fire, etc etc. Just not me on the ship with his body, no fun there.
Crys

[spookyevilone.livejournal.com]

Where are you going to find virgins in this day in age? :P

.. says the person who knows two..

[neko038.livejournal.com]

I usually end up bumping into some. I had mad abilities to ind virgins. They like flock to me or something :)
I must figure something out to get pass fire regulations, you think I can con the government to believe that we practice the Nordick ways and this is our religious custom?
Crys

[redselchie.livejournal.com]

Personally I like the sparkler idea.

I'm sorry you lost your brother tho :(

[spookyevilone.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

The irony of the sparkler idea appeals to me quite a lot.

[sgrimm.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's the sleep deprivation talking, but I'm all for the canopic jar idea.


But in all seriousness, bah. :(

[spookyevilone.livejournal.com]

I keep thinking matrushka dolls, only as egyptian canopic jars, with the smallest one having Troy inside.

[moon-ferret.livejournal.com]

I vote for Mailing To Yet Another Brother. Daniel (who did not die Elsewhere) is currently on Other Brother's mantle, next to the Dog Known As Navin. I got Navin by accident once and didn't notice it for a week. Oh, and Daniel has been stolen, too.

I am so sorry. I am glad he has you to *facepalm* for him.

[spookyevilone.livejournal.com]

ack. I don't think I'd deal well if someone stole my brother.

[moon-ferret.livejournal.com]

It was younger sib. He wanted to take Dan to the bar with him, and forgot to tell me. Once again, took me a couple days to go...waiiiiit...

I realized yesterday how much I missed him. I still smiled, though, thinking about him. Thank you for reminding me, and proving to me that there are others that remember their families in much the same way.

[misanthrope-mom.livejournal.com]

Another stealing story: from a friend: after accepting that they legally could not process and keep his father's skeleton in a corner of the living room - very special kind of family - they kept his urn in a Crown Royal bag, next to a big jar of loose change. House was broken into, change and urn were stolen. My friend says that they like to refer to it as "Dad's last trip." They got the urn and most of the change back....

Condolences, as you don't seem much like a *hugs* kind of person.

[misanthrope-mom.livejournal.com]

26) Chew up a mass of "gum that tastes like soap," mix in ashes, stick on wall with grafitti inscription, or possibly inside super-fancy shadow box.