Garage sale questions from yesterday.

"You take [redonk lowball #] for this?"
Is that the price on the sticker? No? There's your answer.

"Are the chickens for sale??"
Is there a price sticker on them? No? There's your answer.

"What is this?"
It's a phone. That's what they looked like before cordless became all the rage.

"Really? You're ONLY charging $.50 for this fibre optic porcelain angel??"
... Did you want me to charge more? Please, just get it the fuck out of my sight.

"Do you have a bathroom?"
Not for sale, no. (After Evil!Houseguest stole stuff, like I'm letting a total stranger in my house? I think not.)

"Is that your Prius?" .. No? "You look like someone who'd drive a Prius." Um. Thanks?

"Is this an antique?" (said about a porcelain christmas ornament with 2007 prominently on it)
Why yes, yes it is, and it can be yours for the low, low price of $.50! Better act now!

"Got any baseball gloves?" No, sorry. "Oh well. I'll look around in case you have one and don't know it." ... Ok. You do that.

"How much is that mower?" It's not for sale. It's there because I've been cutting the lawn when it's slow. "Oh, cuz I'd give you $3.. maybe $5 for it.." Oh, gee, how can I say no! (It's a reel mower. They're almost as expensive as regular mowers. I have no idea why.)

"You gots any lemonade?" No, sorry. "HMPH! How you gon' have a garage sale an' ain't gots no LEMONADE! Fo' sho'! Don't you know hows to do this, girl??" Um. No. Apparently I don't. "You just getchorself some LEMONADE and you be all set." Yes... because being deadly allergic to wasps and hornets, having pitchers of sticky sweet drinks around me would be such a good idea!

"What've you got for men?" Three cocks and a That Guy, none of which are for sale.

"Do you have any bikes?" (shouted from a car at the street) What? "BIKES?" What? "BIIIIIKES?!" What? "BIKES???" What, Mikes? No, sorry, no hard lemonade here. Though if I had some, I'd be all set.. (she drove off in a huff. Bitch ain't got time to get out of her car, I ain't got time to answer her questions.)

"Did you know your gas trimmer's missing the whip wheel?" (the thing on the bottom that holds the whippy stuff to the trimmer) Yes. That's why it's $1.

"Is this FREE?" Is it in the box with "FREE" on it? Yes? There's your answer.

"Are you throwing this bag of blankets away?" Yes, that's why they're on the curb next to my trash can. "I can't believe you're throwing them away! Can I have them??" ... Yes? I don't care. I was throwing them away. "How about your aluminum cans? I recycle. Can I have those?" Sure. (This person spent more time going through my trash and recycling than they did the garage sale, but they went away happy, so fuck it. Happy with mouse-chewed, stained blankets and aluminum cans.. it takes all kinds.)

"What size dese choos?" Six. "You sure?" I'm sure my shoe size is six, and I'm sure those were my shoes. "They eight maybe??" No. (She tried them on anyway and clearly they were not an 8.)

Two more days of this. And of course it rained this morning. I tarp'd the stuff that would be damaged if wet, but still. ick.

MOAR

"Did them cages have bunnies in 'em?" No, baby chickens. "Oh. I wanted bunny cages."

"Bellydance outfit?! BELLYDANCE OUTFIT?! It's MIDDLE EASTERN DANCE, not bellydancing! And that outfit isn't at all right for it. I know; I go to the Cassandra School!" Yeah? Tell Cassandra I said hi, and that you think the outfit she picked out and brought back from Egypt for me isn't at all right for middle eastern dancing.

"Why do you have a vegetarian cookbook?" Because I'm a vegetarian. "Why are you getting rid of it?" Because I can't read. (said deadpan while sitting there with a book in my hands)

"Your black baby doll ain't very black." That's because she's bi-racial. "Oh. That makes sense. Why's she got velcro down her middle?" Her mother used her as a drug mule. She's recovering. I'm trying to place her with a loving, understanding home. (That got me stared at.)

"Got any dildos?" ... WHAT? "Dildos?" ... Sorry, .. what? "Dildos.. you know.. those metal spikes with the plastic fins you throw up in the air and hope to land in a hoop.." Oh! You mean lawn darts or jarts .. no, sorry. (And then tried not to laugh at the idea of someone playing jarts with .. y'know.)

"How big is this 20" monitor?" I don't know.

"How come you only have Seasons 2-3 of Hercules and Seasons 2-4 of Buffy??" I like to start shows in the second season. I find that starting at the beginning makes them too predictable and boring. (Or, y'know, because someone already bought S1.)

One more day. It rained today, so it was slow.