Reasons I would not be a good porn star.

I have a friend who enjoys listening to my screams of anguish when he sends me terrible porn links. Like pterodactyl porn - which is NSFW and contains PTERODACTYL HARDCORE PORN. In my opinion - and I'm somewhat of a prude on this score, I know - there's no such thing as 'good' porn, just varying degrees of boring and laughable and wrong.

After watching a few of these and either gagging or laughing myself sick, I've come up with a few reasons why I'd never be a good porn star.
( Cut to spare X's work computer )