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I have older brothers. Many of them. I love them dearly, even when they do things that are, shall we say, less than optimally bright. The great thing about them is that they're all able to laugh at their stupid mistakes, as well as swap stories of their embarrassing moments with their other siblings, including the baby sister 20 years their junior.
Once upon a time, when dirt was young and fire had yet to be discovered, my brothers were gifted a package of sparklers when there were no adults within supervisory range. Being young boys, they did all sorts of silly things, like fence with the lit sparklers, pretend they were wands to reenact 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice', etc.
One of my brothers, who shall remainshamenameless to protect his future political career, got the bright idea that hey, the handle end of the sparkler would probably fit down his urethra. Do not ask me why this thought would ever occur to any male of any age - I honestly don't know. I think he has some sort of fetish - another story involves bottle rockets launched from the same bodypart.
Anyway. He put the handle in, lit the end, and was laughing and cavorting about when he realized that what makes sparklers sparkly is little bits of lit magnesium and black powder and that gravity works. His cavorting quickly turned into the 'Oh shit my junk's being singed!' dance of howling pain, which my other brothers thought was more monkeying around until the smoke started to rise. Doing what they'd learned in school, they tossed him on the ground and rolled him, trying to put the smoldering out. In the process, they managed to give him a puncture wound which wouldn't stop bleeding.
Freaked out, they shoved him in a car and drove him to the emergency room, where my parents were promptly called and my brother was forced to explain not only to them, but by an entire crew of first year medical students, why you shouldn't put foreign objects in your penis.
As I said - the lesson really didn't take. He later went on to launch bottle rockets, which also involved a trip to the hospital to remove splinters. None of which apparently affected his reproductive abilities, as evidenced by five children.
There you have it - how I know a sparkler will fit down a urethra.
Once upon a time, when dirt was young and fire had yet to be discovered, my brothers were gifted a package of sparklers when there were no adults within supervisory range. Being young boys, they did all sorts of silly things, like fence with the lit sparklers, pretend they were wands to reenact 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice', etc.
One of my brothers, who shall remain
Anyway. He put the handle in, lit the end, and was laughing and cavorting about when he realized that what makes sparklers sparkly is little bits of lit magnesium and black powder and that gravity works. His cavorting quickly turned into the 'Oh shit my junk's being singed!' dance of howling pain, which my other brothers thought was more monkeying around until the smoke started to rise. Doing what they'd learned in school, they tossed him on the ground and rolled him, trying to put the smoldering out. In the process, they managed to give him a puncture wound which wouldn't stop bleeding.
Freaked out, they shoved him in a car and drove him to the emergency room, where my parents were promptly called and my brother was forced to explain not only to them, but by an entire crew of first year medical students, why you shouldn't put foreign objects in your penis.
As I said - the lesson really didn't take. He later went on to launch bottle rockets, which also involved a trip to the hospital to remove splinters. None of which apparently affected his reproductive abilities, as evidenced by five children.
There you have it - how I know a sparkler will fit down a urethra.
