Revenge of Oreo Man
May. 9th, 2011 06:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spookyeviloneFor those of you playing the home game, or who may have missed my first encounter, let me introduce you to Crazy Oreo Man. I'm temping downtown again and saw him again today and he remembered me.
"Girl, I ain't seen you in a coon's age! *pause* I'n say that, cuz I'm black. We jus' live longer than you white folks. It's a fact, is all it is. Y'all got vices. Where you been? Or is it, you tell me, you gotta kill me?"
"I stopped working downtown for a couple of years. I'm on an assignment for a week or two now, though. You'll probably see me around."
"That's good, that's good. You one'a the nice ones. Some people, they ain't so nice, you hear me? You are, though. I 'member you. You're so pale, you're hard to forget. Like a vampire, only in the daytime."
"I hear you. Thanks, man. Gotta catch my bus. Later!"
"Later days, pretty not-really-a-vampire-cuz-she-don't-burst-into-fire-in-sunlight lady! Hey! You come find me on Thursday, 'round abouts the Farmer's Market. I'll buy YOU a cookie this time! One'a those big ones from the bread lady!"
"No lard?"
"HELL NO, no lard in it! Sheeyit, lard. That shit will kill you dead! No, no lard! Just a good goddamn cookie! Cuz you're not a vampire; you can have a cookie. You come find me, ok?"
"Alright. Bye!"
-----
I still have no idea if he meant, "You're not a vampire, you don't exist solely on blood, so you can eat this here cookie." or whether he's trying to reward me for not being a vampire to encourage me to continue to not be a vampire.
Either way: I get a cookie.
"Girl, I ain't seen you in a coon's age! *pause* I'n say that, cuz I'm black. We jus' live longer than you white folks. It's a fact, is all it is. Y'all got vices. Where you been? Or is it, you tell me, you gotta kill me?"
"I stopped working downtown for a couple of years. I'm on an assignment for a week or two now, though. You'll probably see me around."
"That's good, that's good. You one'a the nice ones. Some people, they ain't so nice, you hear me? You are, though. I 'member you. You're so pale, you're hard to forget. Like a vampire, only in the daytime."
"I hear you. Thanks, man. Gotta catch my bus. Later!"
"Later days, pretty not-really-a-vampire-cuz-she-don't-burst-into-fire-in-sunlight lady! Hey! You come find me on Thursday, 'round abouts the Farmer's Market. I'll buy YOU a cookie this time! One'a those big ones from the bread lady!"
"No lard?"
"HELL NO, no lard in it! Sheeyit, lard. That shit will kill you dead! No, no lard! Just a good goddamn cookie! Cuz you're not a vampire; you can have a cookie. You come find me, ok?"
"Alright. Bye!"
-----
I still have no idea if he meant, "You're not a vampire, you don't exist solely on blood, so you can eat this here cookie." or whether he's trying to reward me for not being a vampire to encourage me to continue to not be a vampire.
Either way: I get a cookie.