Baby is a bad, bad girl.

[spookyevilone]

Them: "It sucks that you're out of work, but now you have time to play Warcraft!!!"
Me: "Why on earth would I want to do that?"
Them: "Because it's the coolist thang evar!"
Me: "I stopped playing with little metal figurines when I was 11. I'm pretty sure it wasn't cool even then."
Them: "..What?"
Me: "Warcraft: That annoying D&D clone game where you play an orc or an elf or a ninja or some shit and go on quests for gold and fight shit, right?"
Them: "You're thinking WarHAMMER, not WarCRAFT!"
Me: "Explain to me the difference?"
Them: "Warcraft is an ONLINE game.."
Me: "Where you..?"
Them: "Create a character and.."
Me: "Character of what race?"
Them: "Oh, you can be anything! You can be a Night Elf, a Blood Elf, a Human, a Dwarf, a Goblin.."
Me: "Failing to see the difference."
Them: "But you can be like, a Paladin, a Rogue, a Hunter.."
Me: "Failing. To. See. Difference."
Them: "Warhammer's NOT COOL! Warcraft is SO COOL!"
Me: "Why?"
Them: "Warhammer's played by fat drooling troglodytes still living in their parent's basement. Warcraft is played ONLINE!"
Me: "Where 99.9999999% of the people are pasty, drooling troglodytes with no social skills or the ability to spell.. and probably still living with their parents because they're not old enough for an apartment of their very ownliest."
Them: "Not all the internet is bad!"
Me: "Most of it is a cesspool. You're still failing to convince me of this game."
Them: "You can be either Alliance or Horde!"
Me: "So a class breakdown of good vs. evil?"
Them: "..Sorta? But not really."
Me: "Then what's the point?"
Them: "You want to be Horde. Horde are teh kewliest. Alliance are for newbs!"
Me: "Everyone keeps saying that to me. What the hell do I want to have to do with a bunch of late-period horse riding nomads from northern China?"
Them: "Late .. period.. horse..ridi..Not The Great Horde! The HORDE!"
Me: "I'm pretty sure that's still late period for me."
Them: "ARGH! YOU ARE HURTING MY BRAIN!"
Me: "It's called 'thinking'."
Them: "You'd like the game if you tried it! There's so much cool stuff to do, like raids.."
Me: "Can I go around killing the characters of morons who can't spell?"
Them: "Not cool, man!"
Me: "How is that not cool?! Ridding the world of intertron giblets who cannot use even a modicum of proper English seems like it'd be a benefit to the online society!"
Them: "Still! Not cool. PK'ing is bad form."
Me: "So there's this game, online, that's just like every other D&D clone that's come out in the last thirty or so years, played by the same type of people, with the same type of plots, only it's online so you can't actually see the person, just their avatar, and I can't even kill the stupid ones? And this is.. fun?"
Them: "Yeah! There's all sorts of levels. I have a Level 70 Wizard and.."
Me: "Oh gods, you're not about to bore me with how cool your character is, are you? Because if you start, I will seriously ban you and never talk to you again. Ever. EVER!"
Them: ..."No, of course not. That would be lame. But there's all sorts of neat things to unlock as you level up, like armour and pets and rides and stuff.."
Me: "So it's like D&D meets Neopets?"
Them: "NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! The pets aren't like, Tamagotchi pets.."
Me: "Still not seeing the appeal."
Them: "You're making my brain explode! Physically explode!"
Me: "Get it on video!"
Them: "Anyway.. you can join a guild to play with other people, but don't worry, I can introduce you to some really cool people.."
Me: "Who.. also play this game?"
Them: "Well, yeah."
Me: "'Really cool'?"
Them: "Be nice!"
Me: ".. Have you met me?"
Them: "NO MAKING THE GUILD MEMBERS CRY, PEREGRINE!"
Me: ".. Have. you. met. me?"
Them: "... Maybe I can find another guild for you."
Me: "It's cute, how you assume I'm ever going to play this game."
Them: "I still think you'd like it if you tried it!"
Me: "If I had a nickel for every time a guy said that to me and was wrong, I could move to Barbados and live in splendor."
Them: "Anyway.. I can get you a free trial so you can check it out.."
Me: "Are there zombies?"
Them: "There are liches!"
Me: "Can I be a lich?"
Them: ".. No."
Me: "Not interested."
Them: "Well, you can't be a zombie in L4D either!"
Me: "CAN TOO!"
Them: "NOT IN THE SINGLE PLAYER VERSION!"
Me: "No, but if I was going to play a game online, that'd be the one, and I could be a zombie and kill people."
Them: "But what's the fun in that? You just run around killing zombies. You don't get to go on quests or raids or.."
Me: "Seriously, listen to yourself."
Them: "ARGH! I QUIT YOU! YOU HAVE NO CONCEPT OF FUN!"

I maintain I have a perfectly reasonable concept of fun. Malicious, brain explody fun.