House drama, part 2.
Dec. 4th, 2009 05:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spookyeviloneThe good news: The house is getting a new furnace.
The bad news: The heat exchanger is dead and the furnace is so old they stopped making parts for it 25 years ago, so the whole thing needs to be replaced.
HUD Agent: "Yeah, no problem, I'll put in a work order and have it fixed this week. Should be done by next Friday so you can close on the 17th."
Best Assets: "No. We're not under obligation to do that, so we won't sign off on the work order and if we don't sign off on it, HUD won't replace it."
Me: "WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCKING FUCKY SHIT IS THIS? THE HELL, YOU SAY! You will too sign that work order."
BA: "No. And you can't make us. Neeners!"
Me: "Oh yeah?"
BA: "Yeah! Neeeeeeners!"
Me: "Hey, HUD in Santa Ana, CA who oversee the MN Realty Owned Homes? BA are being pricks and here's the bullshit they're trying to pull now. I want to close on my house. I've been trying to buy this house since MOTHERFUCKING JULY. BA is holding it up. Pls to help k thx?"
HUD: "That furnace thing sounds like a health and safety hazard."
Me: "Yes. Since the gas can't be turned on or it will flood the house with, y'know, GAS, and no bank will approve a loan for a house that's likely to explode, asphyxiate the occupants, or freeze solid during the -40F temperatures we get here like, now."
HUD: "Yeahh.. We fix those. No problem. We'll get a work order.."
Me: "AH HA! See, yeah, about that.. BA are pricks. They say they won't sign it."
HUD: ".. What. The. SHIT?! The hell they won't!"
Me: "I can has someone from HUD call them and tell THEM that?"
HUD: "Oh yes. Yes, yes you can has. You can has so much that we will call them while you are on the phone.. ah, fuck, they're not open now. DAMMIT! We will call them on Monday and find out what the fuck they think they're doing and find out just when they will be processing this work order so you can close on your house."
Me: "Can you make them install the carbon monoxide detectors they're legally bound to install in a house in MN before they can sell it, while you're at it?"
HUD: ".. they said they wouldn't do that, either?"
Me: "YUP."
HUD: "Give us until Monday. We're about to go medieval on their ass. We gotcher back."
Me: "YAY!"
Dear Best Assets:
Fuck. You.
No love,
me
The bad news: The heat exchanger is dead and the furnace is so old they stopped making parts for it 25 years ago, so the whole thing needs to be replaced.
HUD Agent: "Yeah, no problem, I'll put in a work order and have it fixed this week. Should be done by next Friday so you can close on the 17th."
Best Assets: "No. We're not under obligation to do that, so we won't sign off on the work order and if we don't sign off on it, HUD won't replace it."
Me: "WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCKING FUCKY SHIT IS THIS? THE HELL, YOU SAY! You will too sign that work order."
BA: "No. And you can't make us. Neeners!"
Me: "Oh yeah?"
BA: "Yeah! Neeeeeeners!"
Me: "Hey, HUD in Santa Ana, CA who oversee the MN Realty Owned Homes? BA are being pricks and here's the bullshit they're trying to pull now. I want to close on my house. I've been trying to buy this house since MOTHERFUCKING JULY. BA is holding it up. Pls to help k thx?"
HUD: "That furnace thing sounds like a health and safety hazard."
Me: "Yes. Since the gas can't be turned on or it will flood the house with, y'know, GAS, and no bank will approve a loan for a house that's likely to explode, asphyxiate the occupants, or freeze solid during the -40F temperatures we get here like, now."
HUD: "Yeahh.. We fix those. No problem. We'll get a work order.."
Me: "AH HA! See, yeah, about that.. BA are pricks. They say they won't sign it."
HUD: ".. What. The. SHIT?! The hell they won't!"
Me: "I can has someone from HUD call them and tell THEM that?"
HUD: "Oh yes. Yes, yes you can has. You can has so much that we will call them while you are on the phone.. ah, fuck, they're not open now. DAMMIT! We will call them on Monday and find out what the fuck they think they're doing and find out just when they will be processing this work order so you can close on your house."
Me: "Can you make them install the carbon monoxide detectors they're legally bound to install in a house in MN before they can sell it, while you're at it?"
HUD: ".. they said they wouldn't do that, either?"
Me: "YUP."
HUD: "Give us until Monday. We're about to go medieval on their ass. We gotcher back."
Me: "YAY!"
Dear Best Assets:
Fuck. You.
No love,
me
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no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 11:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 11:56 pm (UTC)The problem isn't HUD. It's the fucking company that manages the HUD transactions that are being the cocks.
In other news, no doll for me today. Hopefully tomorrow. Someone at work is going to call me when/if she arrives so I can go get her. Foo.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-05 02:45 pm (UTC)M is available tomorrow (Sunday) if you need gruntwork done!