BSG s1e4

[spookyevilone]

Boomer: Wow, that must've been some party.. Woke up sopping wet in a closet, no idea how I got there, and there's a bunch of plastique in my gym bag.
Cally: And it's morning.
Boomer: .. Like I said.. SOME party! I'll just go put this plastique back in the.. oh. Well, I guess they won't really miss this one, since half the others are gone..
Tigh: Yeah, that happens if you drink too much. You should ration yourself by fingerwidth's, like me!

Mme President: OMG, I only have 3 outfits to last the rest of my life! I'm going to see Adama in an outfit he's already seen me in!
Billy: You look fine.
Mme President: Fine?! FINE?!
Billy: er.. Great?
Mme President: You have no hope of ever losing your virginity. Ever.
Billy: We should go. Adama's waiting.
Mme President: Aaaaaddddaaaaaammmmmaaaa! Hey.. how's the water reclamation system on BSG?
Adama: Oh, no worries. We've got enough water to last years. Not one drop is wasted.
Mme President: .. You mean you're drinking recycled pee?!
Adama: Good enough for Fremen, good enough for us!
Mme President: What if there's an accident?
Adama: We're in space. The water'd just go outside and freeze. I'm sure our guys could rig a shop vac for us to suck up the ice particles.
Billy: .. Have you met our writers?
Adama: .. Shit.
Billy: You bastard.

Boomer: ZOMG! What am I gonna do?! I can't tell anyone that there's an asston of explosives armed somewhere on the ship! They might think I'm a Cylon agent!
Chief: No! No, why would they think that?!
Boomer: BECAUSE I AM a Cylon Agent!
Chief: .. Well, yeah, there is that.
Boomer: Think about my rep!
Chief: .. as a wibbly Lieutenant who isn't all that good at flying?
Boomer: Better than a Cylon agent!
Chief: Well, no matter. There go the explosions. I think I'll pop on down and survey the damage. 60% of our water supply is missing. It's going to get awful stinky in here.
Tigh: People gonna go batshit if they can't get their bathies on!
Mme President: Peon, why do you think this happened?
Peon: Uh.. because.. uh... the nukes did it! Clearly, nukes. Not Cylon agents.
Boomer: Whew! Dodged that bullet!
Chief: Not if I tell everyone that it was a detonation and what kind of explosive.
Adama: Clearly, Cylons.
Mme President: Baltar, how are those Cylon screenings coming?
Gaius: Screenings?
Mme President: The ones you're supposed to have been doing on the crew? THOSE?
Gaius: Sorry, haven't gotten to them yet. Busy having sex with Imaginary!Six
Adama: Quit lying.
Gaius: .. What?
Adama: I know you really just want a large staff so we can get this underway as quickly as possible.
Gaius: No, no.. I just need.. uh.. resources! Tetramochalambdamacciatohydrocycline! Lots of it! I mean, it has to have a bunch of syllables. I can't just say "I need water and ours just blew into space"..

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Mme President and Adama bond over a mystery book and discuss turning soldiers into police. Gaius and SB have a 'who's crazier' competition over a game of cards, Gaius wins, which means SB is going to do something attention whorish in the next fifteen minutes. Boomer's out on her ship looking for water, and there's a lump of beeping plastique on her chair. Helo and Other!Boomer share a tender moment in radioactive rain.

Mme President: Hey Apollo, come play interpreter for me. Your dad is hot but I really don't understand him.
Apollo: And you want help from.. me?
Mme President: Well, yes. I have every intent of being your stepmom someday.
Apollo: .. Uh. Ok. So .. who tells dad?
Mme President: Welcome to your first assignment.
Apollo: .. I just haaaad to ask.

Boomer: So.. about that blinky explody stuff that was on my chair..?
Chief: Hm? Oh, yeah, that. I got rid of it. I gave it to the master at arms.
Boomer: YOU DID WHAT?! It had my fingerprints all over it!
Chief: Babe, this is BSG, not CSI. Not gonna be a problem. Nobody will suspect you of planting it. After all, it was on YOUR chair.
Boomer: ... right. Right.
Chief: I won't let anything happen to you, sweetie.
Boomer: Sweetie is clearly my not-so-safe word that turns on my Cylon attributes. Exterminate! Exterminate!
Chief: You're messing up your tv shows again.
Boomer: You people never let me have any fun!



It's unnerving, the resemblance between Chief and That Guy. Thankfully, their voices are nothing alike. Though clearly it means That Guy is a Cylon, as there are now at least three people walking around with various versions of his face.

These are not as funny as the first one because the episodes are slow and boring.

Comments

[spookyevilone.livejournal.com]

edit: My bad - Bastille day, not Water.

[belmikey.livejournal.com]

I quickly figured out which one you meant :-) That one's definitely a stand-out, not least of which for the entertainment of watching Richard Hatch (old-series Apollo) playing against Jamie Bamber.

Richard Hatch would never admit it in public, but I really think he enjoyed playing Tom Zarek far more than he ever enjoyed playing Apollo....

[spookyevilone.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know who he is. I'm a huge fan of the old show. He was also in everything else I used to watch, growing up. I'm sad Jane Seymour didn't take Cain.