Results:

[spookyevilone]

5 hours of waiting, prodding, and imaging..

Alien Baby has still not been captured on camera.
It's not a mass and it's not a gas pocket.
I'm not septic.
I don't have any sort of infection.
I'm not pregnant.
It's "probably not cancer".
It's not an AIP flare. Which I knew going in. Those don't hit in one place.

Other than that, they have no clue what's causing it. They suspect an ulcer. It was recommended I have my vagus nerve truncated. It's such a great idea, I had it done three years ago. So now I have a prescription for horse pill anti-ulcer things.

I've been instructed not to take any aspirin, tylenol, or aleve.

Asked what the chances were that I'd erupt like an overripe melon and spray passers by with liquified human goo, and the doctor gravely said, "Unlikely." Not, y'know, "No". I blame malpractice litigation. It's also disturbing to realize that the doctor is saying that because there's the merest, slightest, one in three hundred million chance that I might explode in an eruption of human goo.

That's comforting.

Comments

[redselchie.livejournal.com]

I hate to almost even mention it, but..

did they test you for H1N1?

[spookyevilone.livejournal.com]

Yup. Also for histoplasmosis. H1N1 won't be back for a week. Histo gram was negative. Current theory is that it's a new ulcer. :/