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spookyeviloneOne year while I was living in Boston, my mother got the urge to buy all my friends Christmas cards.
In June.
She called and asked for names and addresses, and at the time I was amused but also kind of annoyed. She hadn't met any of them. I was kind of disturbed that they'd be getting mail from my mom, because What Would They Think?! There were two guys especially that OMG might think I liked them! Can't have that! (Hey, I can have my girl moments just as much as any other girl. I do have two X chromosomes.)
Mom asked about Josh. "Mom, Josh is Jewish. He doesn't celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Chanaukah." (Which I can never spell right.) "Oh," said Mom sadly, "I don't know if I could find Chanaukah cards." "Mom, it's June. You might have a better chance closer to the holiday." "But.. if I don't start looking NOW.. Well, what about John? I could get his card, at least.."
"Mom," said a very exasperated me, "John's a Satanist." He was. He is. He's a nice guy but, y'know, not down with the Christ figure.
"TARA!" my mother shot right back in this shocked tone of voice, "Even SATANISTS celebrate CHRISTMAS!" She wasn't asking. She was telling me.
I laughed so hard I choked. Then I had to explain that John, before he was a Satanist, had also been Jewish. So, still not down with the Christ figure.
My mother went on a disgruntled quest for Chanaukah cards. She eventually found some, or badgered the Hallmark store into ordering some. Then she was quite pleased with herself, that now she could send appropriate cards to my friends.
This is my mother.
IIRC, that was the year she bought her coworker - a Harvard Law grad, who was black - an Ebonics Christmas Card. My mother had no idea what Ebonics was, and the card had a really nice painting of a black Jesus on the front. Keep in mind, my mother referred to black people as 'people of colour' my entire life. So when I saw the greeting inside the card, I choked and tried to get her to not give it. I cringed when she gave it anyway, but her friend took it well. Mom never understood why I was horrified. She was just so happy she didn't have to give her black friend a card with a white Jesus on it. And now Hallmark had a whole SECTION .. "Mom, did you read what it said inside?" "Well, it doesn't matter what it says inside, does it? Nobody reads that part anyway. It matters what was meant by it."
This is also my mother.
In June.
She called and asked for names and addresses, and at the time I was amused but also kind of annoyed. She hadn't met any of them. I was kind of disturbed that they'd be getting mail from my mom, because What Would They Think?! There were two guys especially that OMG might think I liked them! Can't have that! (Hey, I can have my girl moments just as much as any other girl. I do have two X chromosomes.)
Mom asked about Josh. "Mom, Josh is Jewish. He doesn't celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Chanaukah." (Which I can never spell right.) "Oh," said Mom sadly, "I don't know if I could find Chanaukah cards." "Mom, it's June. You might have a better chance closer to the holiday." "But.. if I don't start looking NOW.. Well, what about John? I could get his card, at least.."
"Mom," said a very exasperated me, "John's a Satanist." He was. He is. He's a nice guy but, y'know, not down with the Christ figure.
"TARA!" my mother shot right back in this shocked tone of voice, "Even SATANISTS celebrate CHRISTMAS!" She wasn't asking. She was telling me.
I laughed so hard I choked. Then I had to explain that John, before he was a Satanist, had also been Jewish. So, still not down with the Christ figure.
My mother went on a disgruntled quest for Chanaukah cards. She eventually found some, or badgered the Hallmark store into ordering some. Then she was quite pleased with herself, that now she could send appropriate cards to my friends.
This is my mother.
IIRC, that was the year she bought her coworker - a Harvard Law grad, who was black - an Ebonics Christmas Card. My mother had no idea what Ebonics was, and the card had a really nice painting of a black Jesus on the front. Keep in mind, my mother referred to black people as 'people of colour' my entire life. So when I saw the greeting inside the card, I choked and tried to get her to not give it. I cringed when she gave it anyway, but her friend took it well. Mom never understood why I was horrified. She was just so happy she didn't have to give her black friend a card with a white Jesus on it. And now Hallmark had a whole SECTION .. "Mom, did you read what it said inside?" "Well, it doesn't matter what it says inside, does it? Nobody reads that part anyway. It matters what was meant by it."
This is also my mother.