I feel so betrayed!

Which I am expressing by giggling my ass off.

Baby Brother and I were the only two non-military members in my father's prodigious list of spawn.

He informed me today that his wife has joined the Navy. I'm fairly certain I'll get my ass kicked if I make any sort of 'eating Cracker Jacks' joke here. This leaves me as the only total holdout, since I have it on very good authority that That Guy does not play well enough with others to join any branch of service. (Though it amuses me to imagine his reaction when someone gave him an order he didn't agree with.)

I'm this generation's conscientious objector. I don't object to service or the military, but I tend to object very strongly to the shit they get sent out to do. Oh sure, killing people with impunity sounds like fun, but then there's all those years where you have to be ready to do so at a moment's notice and never actually get to. Boring, says I.

One more member of the clan to be proud of, worry about, and send packages to.

The Goonies II

Every few years, the lurking horror of a The Goonies sequel rears its fugly head. Chris Columbus, full of his own stanking hubris, has apparently started talking about it. He directed the first one, and while I love that movie and a lot of other things he's done, I cannot forgive him for Bicentennial Man, Monkeybone, and Rise of the Silver Surfer. Sorry buddy, but not even Gremlins and Goonies can make up for those.

The only way I'd watch a Goonies sequel is if Mikey Walsh, all grown up, is now a writer who does a screenplay of The Goonies adventure, it gets Hollywoodized and totally blown out of proportion with the main character (Mikey) being totally Mary Sue'd, and the other Goonies, also now grown up, show up and air their grievances upon him with witty verbage and evil tricks. The Petelli brothers could show up, freshly out of prison. Hijinx ensue. Hell, I could write that bad boy as a fanfic. Sloth is dead so I don't see how the hell they'd be able to cast a sequel properly.

Seriously, why the HELL can't Hollywood and TV let go of the 80's? All the shows are coming back and you just know they're gonna suck, movies that were awesome in their uniqueness are getting sequels, and now that MJ died you just freaking KNOOOW a new version of Thriller is coming out this October.

I'm bitter. I miss the shows, but I don't want them back in scary 'reimagined' form. I want TV to stop sucking - it's like the networks can't figure out why nobody's watching while still churning out "reality" tv shows and went "Oh hay, 4 bizillion people used to watch The A-Team. Let's bring that back. That will save us!"

No, bubbies, having shows that don't suck would save you. Not cancelling shows 6-16 episodes in would help, because this ratings-based cancellation bullshit is making the audience not want to watch anything until it's had at least one full season on the air. It's like being the bride left at the alter a dozen or more times. We don't want to get burned, we're not taking chances, and thus the only things gaining numbers are the shows that could die tomorrow without a bang or whimper.