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Tis the season..
Dec. 7th, 2007 09:14 amI'm Native American. Right around November, this starts to cause a lot of consternation for people who Just Don't Get It. Here are some examples from this year:
Coworker: [insert blahblahblah Thanksgiving blah blah pumpkin pie blah blah..] Peregrine, you like to cook. What are you making for Thanksgiving? Anything special?
Me: Um.. no. I don't celebrate it.
Coworker: Oh, right - you're a vegetarian. So do you do a tofu turkey? Are those any good? I think they'd taste like paste, unless they made it with like, turkey broth or something.
Me: I'm also Native American, and thanksgiving isn't such a big thing for us.
Coworker: Sure it is! It's when the Natives and the whites came together in peace and harmony!
Me: .. Actually, it's when the Natives saved the white folk's asses from starving to death because they were too busy praying for help instead of farming and gathering food. You all might be thankful that happened, but we kinda came to regret it after the first smallpox epidemic.
"So what do Native Americans do for Christmas?"
".. um.. Put up a tree, have some eggnog, exchange gifts?"
"But you don't believe in cutting down trees, right? Because it would harm the earth spirits?"
".. There are fake Christmas trees.. I can't really say one way or the other whether that no-live-tree thing is anathema to anyone else. I don't do live trees because I consider it a stupid waste of a mature tree."
"I don't get it, though. You don't believe in Christ, you don't believe in cutting down trees, so how can you hold Christmas?"
"Are you talking just me, the tree-hugging dirtworshipper who happens to be Native American, or NA's in general?"
"NA's in general."
"Most of them celebrate Christmas."
"I just don't get it."
"Does your family celebrate Christmas?"
"Yup."
"Even the Indian part?"
"Yup."
"How do they fit a tree in the tipi?" (Note: This was an actual question, not sarcasm.)
".. what?"
"You said before that they live on a reservation, so.. I mean, that's all back to the roots tipis and stuff, right?"
".. No. It's like any other small town. Cherokee never lived in tipi. Now they have houses and Christmas trees fit just fine."
"What do you get your relatives for Christmas?"
"Whatever I think they'd like?"
"No, I mean, is there some spiritual stuff to get them? Like, Christians give Christ-themed things for Christmas, Jews give dreidels and gelt and stuff for Christmas, so.."
"Um. No. We just do.. normal gifts." [Brain still boggling from 'Jews give..for Christmas..]
Coworker: [insert blahblahblah Thanksgiving blah blah pumpkin pie blah blah..] Peregrine, you like to cook. What are you making for Thanksgiving? Anything special?
Me: Um.. no. I don't celebrate it.
Coworker: Oh, right - you're a vegetarian. So do you do a tofu turkey? Are those any good? I think they'd taste like paste, unless they made it with like, turkey broth or something.
Me: I'm also Native American, and thanksgiving isn't such a big thing for us.
Coworker: Sure it is! It's when the Natives and the whites came together in peace and harmony!
Me: .. Actually, it's when the Natives saved the white folk's asses from starving to death because they were too busy praying for help instead of farming and gathering food. You all might be thankful that happened, but we kinda came to regret it after the first smallpox epidemic.
"So what do Native Americans do for Christmas?"
".. um.. Put up a tree, have some eggnog, exchange gifts?"
"But you don't believe in cutting down trees, right? Because it would harm the earth spirits?"
".. There are fake Christmas trees.. I can't really say one way or the other whether that no-live-tree thing is anathema to anyone else. I don't do live trees because I consider it a stupid waste of a mature tree."
"I don't get it, though. You don't believe in Christ, you don't believe in cutting down trees, so how can you hold Christmas?"
"Are you talking just me, the tree-hugging dirtworshipper who happens to be Native American, or NA's in general?"
"NA's in general."
"Most of them celebrate Christmas."
"I just don't get it."
"Does your family celebrate Christmas?"
"Yup."
"Even the Indian part?"
"Yup."
"How do they fit a tree in the tipi?" (Note: This was an actual question, not sarcasm.)
".. what?"
"You said before that they live on a reservation, so.. I mean, that's all back to the roots tipis and stuff, right?"
".. No. It's like any other small town. Cherokee never lived in tipi. Now they have houses and Christmas trees fit just fine."
"What do you get your relatives for Christmas?"
"Whatever I think they'd like?"
"No, I mean, is there some spiritual stuff to get them? Like, Christians give Christ-themed things for Christmas, Jews give dreidels and gelt and stuff for Christmas, so.."
"Um. No. We just do.. normal gifts." [Brain still boggling from 'Jews give..for Christmas..]