It's that time of year again.
Sep. 25th, 2008 11:04 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spookyeviloneWhen all the little ignorant hobgoblins come out to delight me with their shenanigans, vomiting forth such questions as:
"So what does a witch dress up as for Halloween?" Answer: Whatever the fuck she wants.
"Are pumpkins to pagans like cows to Indians?" Answer: Yes. We kill them and eat them. Oh wait, you probably meant people from India..
"What do you have for Thanksgiving if you can't have turkey?" MY answer: "That's a toughie. I'm native american and pagan so the answer should be white Anglo babies, but I'm vegetarian and there's really no tofu or seitan alternative for those since HuFu went away.. so fuck it, I guess I'll just have squash."
"You're Pagan. Aren't crocs against your religion?!" Answer: No. Crocs are a crime against fashion and an assault upon your eyes, but I'm ok with that because there's no jail time involved in the consequences thereof. Unlike, say, kicking you in the face with my comfy, comfy footwear. They are black, LIKE MY SOUL, so stfu you Prada-wearing cow killer!
"Do witches do anything special for Halloween?" Answer: Well, NORMALLY, I make flying ointment from the visceral fat rendered from unbaptized Christian children and zoom around on a broomstick.. but this year, I'm just going to stay home and hand out candy.
It's only going to get better as the hols approach.
"So what does a witch dress up as for Halloween?" Answer: Whatever the fuck she wants.
"Are pumpkins to pagans like cows to Indians?" Answer: Yes. We kill them and eat them. Oh wait, you probably meant people from India..
"What do you have for Thanksgiving if you can't have turkey?" MY answer: "That's a toughie. I'm native american and pagan so the answer should be white Anglo babies, but I'm vegetarian and there's really no tofu or seitan alternative for those since HuFu went away.. so fuck it, I guess I'll just have squash."
"You're Pagan. Aren't crocs against your religion?!" Answer: No. Crocs are a crime against fashion and an assault upon your eyes, but I'm ok with that because there's no jail time involved in the consequences thereof. Unlike, say, kicking you in the face with my comfy, comfy footwear. They are black, LIKE MY SOUL, so stfu you Prada-wearing cow killer!
"Do witches do anything special for Halloween?" Answer: Well, NORMALLY, I make flying ointment from the visceral fat rendered from unbaptized Christian children and zoom around on a broomstick.. but this year, I'm just going to stay home and hand out candy.
It's only going to get better as the hols approach.
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no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 01:39 pm (UTC)Oh, hell, your answers are better than mine. And I *am* handing out the Fair Trade Chocolate cards. But that is because part of me is still liberal even after all the pounding I have taken over the years.
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Date: 2008-09-26 02:02 pm (UTC)You ask...I give!
Date: 2008-09-26 02:05 pm (UTC)You pay only for the shipping. When I am walking with my kids, the three/almost 4 year old will give them to the people giving him candy. I think it is a GREAT idea and even has a chocolate sample on it.
As much as I try to be a hard ass, things like this excite me. I found a great organic, fair trade coffee at the local Not So Nice grocery store that is fantastic. And did not cost me 20 bucks a pound!