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spookyevilone1) Call every 10 minutes, leaving increasingly frantic messages that make you sound like a cocker spaniel on nitrous who needs to go outside to go potty really badly. I will get back to you if you leave a message. I will send death squads after you if you leave more than two messages.
2) Ask "So.. what's the lowest wage you're willing to take?" after I've already told you my minimum and that it's non-negotiable unless there is a fat education and transportation subsidy or the chance to play with Goran Visnjic's hair for several hours. I might be willing to substitute another hunky male, provided he has an Eastern European accent and great hair, if the substitution also involves an all expenses paid trip to a private Tahitian island. Why the hell would I want to take a job that's offering less than I was making at my last job? Right - benefits that make it worth it. In my case, classes, petrol/bus recompense, or hot Eastern European males with great hair.
3) Email me more than three times a day asking why I haven't answered your email or phone call. If I were dead of some freak accident, you'd have seen it on the news already. The more you bug me, the more I wish freak accidents upon you, and if you bug me enough, your kin and household pets.
4) Ask if you can do a credit check. No, no you cannot. I am not paying someone to work, they are paying me and thus, what I've earned or spent in the past is none of your goddamn business. Do you see where it says 'NOTARY PUBLIC' on my resume? That means I've never been in legal trouble over money. Telling me you can't work with me without a credit check will not make me change my mind - except about working with you. Kindly catch syphilis and die.
5) Offer to submit me for any sort of basic clerical/secretarial position. If it will bore me stupid, I am not interested. If you start out the conversation with, "I know this will be boring for you, but.." do not even bother finishing that sentence, do not pass 'Go', do not collect $200. Especially if I could go work at Burger King for a higher wage and free veggie burgers.
It has been a very exasperating day.
2) Ask "So.. what's the lowest wage you're willing to take?" after I've already told you my minimum and that it's non-negotiable unless there is a fat education and transportation subsidy or the chance to play with Goran Visnjic's hair for several hours. I might be willing to substitute another hunky male, provided he has an Eastern European accent and great hair, if the substitution also involves an all expenses paid trip to a private Tahitian island. Why the hell would I want to take a job that's offering less than I was making at my last job? Right - benefits that make it worth it. In my case, classes, petrol/bus recompense, or hot Eastern European males with great hair.
3) Email me more than three times a day asking why I haven't answered your email or phone call. If I were dead of some freak accident, you'd have seen it on the news already. The more you bug me, the more I wish freak accidents upon you, and if you bug me enough, your kin and household pets.
4) Ask if you can do a credit check. No, no you cannot. I am not paying someone to work, they are paying me and thus, what I've earned or spent in the past is none of your goddamn business. Do you see where it says 'NOTARY PUBLIC' on my resume? That means I've never been in legal trouble over money. Telling me you can't work with me without a credit check will not make me change my mind - except about working with you. Kindly catch syphilis and die.
5) Offer to submit me for any sort of basic clerical/secretarial position. If it will bore me stupid, I am not interested. If you start out the conversation with, "I know this will be boring for you, but.." do not even bother finishing that sentence, do not pass 'Go', do not collect $200. Especially if I could go work at Burger King for a higher wage and free veggie burgers.
It has been a very exasperating day.
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no subject
Date: 2008-03-11 12:50 am (UTC)