Bitchy McBitchpants tonight.
Dec. 28th, 2009 11:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spookyeviloneIt's not really a joke that I'd probably survive ebola, but the common cold will kill me. That's because "cold" is usually "bacterial sinus infection" and my body mutates bacteria into alien, drug resistant beings that can only be wiped out with phage therapy.
I live with really bad dust allergies. By 'really bad', I mean "has caused two allergists to go 'WHOA! Hey, come look at this!' when the scratch test went over 25mm in 5 seconds" bad. I have a sinus infection right now due to them. I only get about two a year, which is awesome. I used to get them every two weeks, and then in 2003 had my face roto-rooted. Turbinate tissue reduction, septoplasty, tonsillectomy. Suddenly I could breathe, I stopped snoring, and I stopped being sick all the time.
This last year, it's gotten bad again. This week, it's particularly bad. It's partly my fault. I went to two holiday parties at other people's houses. Houses with things like 'upholstered furniture' and 'carpet' - things I can't be around for very long without my body rejecting life. I also stayed at That Guy's house, and he also has upholstered furniture and carpet. Basically, I subjected myself to more allergens than my immune system could fight off, even with the help of prescription-strength antihistamines. I called the doctor today. Not because there's anything she can do - there isn't anything to be done but keep hydrated, make sure I don't run out of kleenex, and try to keep my airway open and dry until everything clears up. Remember the part about antibiotic resistant? Yeah.. I wasn't kidding about that.
"Hi, you said you wanted to see me the next time I had a sinus infection so you could see what's going on in my throat."
"Great! We can get you in on Wednesday!"
".. By which time, I won't be sick."
"Well, we can still evaluate you."
"Evaluate my then-healthy throat and nose and tell me nothing's wrong, and to go home and come back when I have a sinus infection, like the last three times?"
"Uhm.. "
"So when I come in, we're going to send me in for new head films, possibly order a sleep study, and give me a referral to an ENT, yes?"
"Well, we'll see what it looks like after the evaluation.."
"No, you don't understand.. I'm not asking. I am telling you what you, as my provider, are going to provide for me. This has gone on long enough. We know surgery will fix it - it did last time. I don't want to hear about any new experimental allergy drug that might work. I want an order for the surgeon to go in and cut away the tissue giving me the problems."
"That's rather drastic. Most people want to avoid surgery."
"Most people didn't get screwed over by the medical establishment to the point where the amount of risk involved with surgery and the pain of recovery is hands-down preferable to going through this crap again."
"There's always a risk with anaesthesia.."
"Right. And I'd rather take the risk and die on an operating table than go through even another month of oxygen-deprived sleep, sinus infections, and misery."
"That's... drastic."
"You keep using that word. Requesting a fix for a problem isn't drastic. Shaving my nose off with a machete and scooping the adenoids out with a spoon - THAT would be drastic. I'd rather have it done in a safe, sterile environment - one that preferably lets me keep my nose."
"...."
"Seriously, if you're going to tell me that 'everything looks fine. Come back in when you have an infection so we can see the problem.' then we should not even set up this appointment, because it would be a waste of time. If you can't fit me in when the problem's going on, refer me to a specialist who can. Right now. I'll hold."
"The doctor has to see you before she can issue a referral.."
"Right, which is what I'm saying. I'll come in. She can see me. Regardless of what she sees, I want to walk out of there with a referral and not another 'let's wait until the next time you're sick'. I don't think this is unreasonable. Waiting until the next time I'm sick means there will BE a 'next time' and I'd really rather we fix it so there isn't."
".. I'll put that down in your chart."
Yeah, do that.
We'll see what happens. If there are reports of a rampaging woman at a Minnesota health care clinic on Wednesday around 10:30am, I want it noted that I have an airtight alibi lined up.
I live with really bad dust allergies. By 'really bad', I mean "has caused two allergists to go 'WHOA! Hey, come look at this!' when the scratch test went over 25mm in 5 seconds" bad. I have a sinus infection right now due to them. I only get about two a year, which is awesome. I used to get them every two weeks, and then in 2003 had my face roto-rooted. Turbinate tissue reduction, septoplasty, tonsillectomy. Suddenly I could breathe, I stopped snoring, and I stopped being sick all the time.
This last year, it's gotten bad again. This week, it's particularly bad. It's partly my fault. I went to two holiday parties at other people's houses. Houses with things like 'upholstered furniture' and 'carpet' - things I can't be around for very long without my body rejecting life. I also stayed at That Guy's house, and he also has upholstered furniture and carpet. Basically, I subjected myself to more allergens than my immune system could fight off, even with the help of prescription-strength antihistamines. I called the doctor today. Not because there's anything she can do - there isn't anything to be done but keep hydrated, make sure I don't run out of kleenex, and try to keep my airway open and dry until everything clears up. Remember the part about antibiotic resistant? Yeah.. I wasn't kidding about that.
"Hi, you said you wanted to see me the next time I had a sinus infection so you could see what's going on in my throat."
"Great! We can get you in on Wednesday!"
".. By which time, I won't be sick."
"Well, we can still evaluate you."
"Evaluate my then-healthy throat and nose and tell me nothing's wrong, and to go home and come back when I have a sinus infection, like the last three times?"
"Uhm.. "
"So when I come in, we're going to send me in for new head films, possibly order a sleep study, and give me a referral to an ENT, yes?"
"Well, we'll see what it looks like after the evaluation.."
"No, you don't understand.. I'm not asking. I am telling you what you, as my provider, are going to provide for me. This has gone on long enough. We know surgery will fix it - it did last time. I don't want to hear about any new experimental allergy drug that might work. I want an order for the surgeon to go in and cut away the tissue giving me the problems."
"That's rather drastic. Most people want to avoid surgery."
"Most people didn't get screwed over by the medical establishment to the point where the amount of risk involved with surgery and the pain of recovery is hands-down preferable to going through this crap again."
"There's always a risk with anaesthesia.."
"Right. And I'd rather take the risk and die on an operating table than go through even another month of oxygen-deprived sleep, sinus infections, and misery."
"That's... drastic."
"You keep using that word. Requesting a fix for a problem isn't drastic. Shaving my nose off with a machete and scooping the adenoids out with a spoon - THAT would be drastic. I'd rather have it done in a safe, sterile environment - one that preferably lets me keep my nose."
"...."
"Seriously, if you're going to tell me that 'everything looks fine. Come back in when you have an infection so we can see the problem.' then we should not even set up this appointment, because it would be a waste of time. If you can't fit me in when the problem's going on, refer me to a specialist who can. Right now. I'll hold."
"The doctor has to see you before she can issue a referral.."
"Right, which is what I'm saying. I'll come in. She can see me. Regardless of what she sees, I want to walk out of there with a referral and not another 'let's wait until the next time you're sick'. I don't think this is unreasonable. Waiting until the next time I'm sick means there will BE a 'next time' and I'd really rather we fix it so there isn't."
".. I'll put that down in your chart."
Yeah, do that.
We'll see what happens. If there are reports of a rampaging woman at a Minnesota health care clinic on Wednesday around 10:30am, I want it noted that I have an airtight alibi lined up.