Peregrine's Rules For Life
Nov. 27th, 2007 08:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spookyevilone1. Everyone has the right to fuck up their own life in whatever manner they see fit.
2. I am not legally or morally responsible for my actions before I've had a shower in the morning.
3. A rose by any other name is still the reproductive organ of a thorny shrub. AKA - sugarcoated shit still leaves a foul aftertaste. Tell it bang, Sparky.
4. People are stupid, but sometimes they'll surprise you.
5. If I don't trust you, you don't exist in my world. If I do trust you, I'd take a bullet for you. If you abuse that trust, I'm likely to put a bullet in you.
6. Don't slap the child, slap the parent.
7. Men are crazy, women are insane. The only reason humans aren't extinct is because it's possible to find someone whose psychosis is complimentary to your own.
8. I have no ugly friends.
9. Cars, appliances, hearts, and minds never pick convenient times to break down.
10. Shut up and listen.
11. Don't be afraid to dance.
12. Just because you can't see, touch, smell, taste, or smell it, doesn't mean it isn't real.
13. People in the crosswalk are pedestrians and deserve the right of way. People in the street are jaywalkers and thus legitimate targets.
14. Respect is earned, but politeness and civility are mandatory.
15. Don't say 'I love you' unless you mean it, but if you mean it, say it as often as possible.
16. If sex isn't messy, you're doing it wrong.
17. I never giggle for no reason. You probably don't want to know what the reason is.
18. Cute is a dirty four letter word. Fuck, damn, piss, shit, etc, are just adjectives or exclamations.
19. Fix the problem. THEN panic.
20. There is no problem in the world that can't be solved by feeding people.
2. I am not legally or morally responsible for my actions before I've had a shower in the morning.
3. A rose by any other name is still the reproductive organ of a thorny shrub. AKA - sugarcoated shit still leaves a foul aftertaste. Tell it bang, Sparky.
4. People are stupid, but sometimes they'll surprise you.
5. If I don't trust you, you don't exist in my world. If I do trust you, I'd take a bullet for you. If you abuse that trust, I'm likely to put a bullet in you.
6. Don't slap the child, slap the parent.
7. Men are crazy, women are insane. The only reason humans aren't extinct is because it's possible to find someone whose psychosis is complimentary to your own.
8. I have no ugly friends.
9. Cars, appliances, hearts, and minds never pick convenient times to break down.
10. Shut up and listen.
11. Don't be afraid to dance.
12. Just because you can't see, touch, smell, taste, or smell it, doesn't mean it isn't real.
13. People in the crosswalk are pedestrians and deserve the right of way. People in the street are jaywalkers and thus legitimate targets.
14. Respect is earned, but politeness and civility are mandatory.
15. Don't say 'I love you' unless you mean it, but if you mean it, say it as often as possible.
16. If sex isn't messy, you're doing it wrong.
17. I never giggle for no reason. You probably don't want to know what the reason is.
18. Cute is a dirty four letter word. Fuck, damn, piss, shit, etc, are just adjectives or exclamations.
19. Fix the problem. THEN panic.
20. There is no problem in the world that can't be solved by feeding people.