Shit My Brothers Say

ACTUAL CONVERSATION TIME:

"Why am I on speakerphone?"
"Because I've just Saran Wrapped my head and can't put the phone to my ear."
"Why did you Saran Wrap your head?!"
"Coconut oil."
"You're trying to protect your head from rampaging coconut oil?"
"..Yes. Exactly."
"Why didn't you use bear or moose grease LIKE A NORMAL GIRL?!"

The shit I put up with, I tellya..