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"Hi. When are you getting someone out to fix the gas line in House!Presumptive?"
"You're buying it as-is. We won't be fixing that."
"Really? What's your policy on 'as-is'? Because in this state, the law says it's 'as-is' of the time the purchase agreement was signed."
"Yes, that's correct."
"Good. Glad we're clear on that. Now go fix the fucking gas line, k thx."
"We won't be fixing that."
"The gas line was working when the purchase agreement was signed, because I was at the house the next day to verify that the furnace worked. Since then, one of your property management goons went in and disconnected it. By law, you need to go connect the pipe and have the gas company out to pressure test the lines and safety test the gas to the house."
".. Uh."
"I have documented proof that the gas was on when the purchase agreement was signed, and it's very visibly not connected now."
"I.. see. Well, let me talk to the ..."
"Is this 'talk' going to consist of 'put the house back in the condition it was in when the buyer signed the purchase agreement'? Because if it isn't, you're wasting my time. This is enough to invalidate my sale, since the property conditions have changed."
".. Are you saying you want to cancel your purchase agreement?"
"I'm saying I want you to get in there and fix the fucking gas line pronto, Skippy, and that if you don't do it in time for me to have the house inspected and appraised on Monday, you can kiss this purchase agreement goodbye."
"You'll lose your earnest money.."
"No, I won't. I've already checked with the Department of Commerce and they said since the fuckup is on your end, the condition changed due to your company, and you have not responded to a legitimate and reasonable request to fix it, that if I cancel, my earnest money comes back. So, again, are you going to fix the goddamn gas line, or shall I just void the sale right now?"
".... I'll.. call the gas company and have them send someone out. It might take a couple days."
"But you will call me back right away with the service ticket number so I can call the gas company and hound them myself until they fix it, yes?"
".. Yes."
Damn right you will. Fuckers.
"You're buying it as-is. We won't be fixing that."
"Really? What's your policy on 'as-is'? Because in this state, the law says it's 'as-is' of the time the purchase agreement was signed."
"Yes, that's correct."
"Good. Glad we're clear on that. Now go fix the fucking gas line, k thx."
"We won't be fixing that."
"The gas line was working when the purchase agreement was signed, because I was at the house the next day to verify that the furnace worked. Since then, one of your property management goons went in and disconnected it. By law, you need to go connect the pipe and have the gas company out to pressure test the lines and safety test the gas to the house."
".. Uh."
"I have documented proof that the gas was on when the purchase agreement was signed, and it's very visibly not connected now."
"I.. see. Well, let me talk to the ..."
"Is this 'talk' going to consist of 'put the house back in the condition it was in when the buyer signed the purchase agreement'? Because if it isn't, you're wasting my time. This is enough to invalidate my sale, since the property conditions have changed."
".. Are you saying you want to cancel your purchase agreement?"
"I'm saying I want you to get in there and fix the fucking gas line pronto, Skippy, and that if you don't do it in time for me to have the house inspected and appraised on Monday, you can kiss this purchase agreement goodbye."
"You'll lose your earnest money.."
"No, I won't. I've already checked with the Department of Commerce and they said since the fuckup is on your end, the condition changed due to your company, and you have not responded to a legitimate and reasonable request to fix it, that if I cancel, my earnest money comes back. So, again, are you going to fix the goddamn gas line, or shall I just void the sale right now?"
".... I'll.. call the gas company and have them send someone out. It might take a couple days."
"But you will call me back right away with the service ticket number so I can call the gas company and hound them myself until they fix it, yes?"
".. Yes."
Damn right you will. Fuckers.