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Death by keyboard
Apr. 9th, 2009 11:33 amMy computer tried to kill me again today. I thought I'd exorcised the demonic entity when I bought this new computer, but it must have been hiding in the external hard drive, because it's definitely gone possessed on me. Last time, all it did was fall on me. This time, it's smarter and tried to make it look like death by misadventure.
I woke up with some time to kill this morning and turned the monitor on, picked the wireless keyboard off the floor, and started typing away at one of the stories that's been nagging me. Suddenly, in the middle of "Trevor dropped into a crouch, one leg lashing back in a mule kick that sent his attacker into the building behind him." I got to 'bu' of 'building', and the keyboard decided there needed to be 15 u's in the word. 'buuuuuuuuuuuuuuu' Annoyed, I backspaced so there was just the one, appropriate u. I went to type 'i', the next letter, and the keyboard added even more u's instead. I tried backspace again and it simply did it a third time. I had just backspaced through the newest set of 'buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu' and threatened the computer, when the backspace went hog wild and started deleting whole lines of text. I freaked and closed the window, thinking it was some sort of Google Docs error.
The evil backspace of doom followed from application to application, razing text and icons and everything in its path. I couldn't get the keyboard to stop. I couldn't get the mouse to close the windows because the keyboard kept pre-empting it. Even when I hurriedly dumped the batteries out of the keyboard, the evil delete monster still kept going. I bolted out of bed to yank the wireless connector out of the USB port of the computer, and that's when it struck.
The cables, which are always in a squidlike pile at the back of the computer, were in the front of the computer. I stepped down and caught the hard plastic end of an ethernet cable right in the midsection of the front of my foot. Yelping, I hopped off that foot, promptly lost my balance, and crashed face first into the window. It's an old, single-pane kind of window with non-tempered glass. I thought, as I fell forward, "I'm about to die. I'm going to go through the window and the glass is going to sever a neck artery and I'm going to bleed out between the panes. Dear person who has to clean this mess up: I'm sorry. The computer did it. Stay away, it's evil."
The glass held. It didn't even crack as I scrambled so shove myself away from it. I stumbled backward, tripping over the evil keyboard - which had been on the bed moments before. Logically, one would assume I knocked it off the bed in my haste to get to the USB port, but I'm pretty sure it was just another Machiavellian move by the Computer of Doom to do me in. I landed on my back on my waterbed. I used my toes to grab the cord to the wireless and yank it out. The evil delete monster was halted. Plugging in a regular mouse, I was able to close the windows without saving - and thankfully the Google Docs autosave hadn't kicked in.
Tonight, I get to rip the keyboard apart and smudge it to remove the demonic entity inhabiting it. Hopefully that will work.
Is it sad that I would rather sit at home, ripping it apart to find the problem, than go buy a new one? Ugh.
I woke up with some time to kill this morning and turned the monitor on, picked the wireless keyboard off the floor, and started typing away at one of the stories that's been nagging me. Suddenly, in the middle of "Trevor dropped into a crouch, one leg lashing back in a mule kick that sent his attacker into the building behind him." I got to 'bu' of 'building', and the keyboard decided there needed to be 15 u's in the word. 'buuuuuuuuuuuuuuu' Annoyed, I backspaced so there was just the one, appropriate u. I went to type 'i', the next letter, and the keyboard added even more u's instead. I tried backspace again and it simply did it a third time. I had just backspaced through the newest set of 'buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu' and threatened the computer, when the backspace went hog wild and started deleting whole lines of text. I freaked and closed the window, thinking it was some sort of Google Docs error.
The evil backspace of doom followed from application to application, razing text and icons and everything in its path. I couldn't get the keyboard to stop. I couldn't get the mouse to close the windows because the keyboard kept pre-empting it. Even when I hurriedly dumped the batteries out of the keyboard, the evil delete monster still kept going. I bolted out of bed to yank the wireless connector out of the USB port of the computer, and that's when it struck.
The cables, which are always in a squidlike pile at the back of the computer, were in the front of the computer. I stepped down and caught the hard plastic end of an ethernet cable right in the midsection of the front of my foot. Yelping, I hopped off that foot, promptly lost my balance, and crashed face first into the window. It's an old, single-pane kind of window with non-tempered glass. I thought, as I fell forward, "I'm about to die. I'm going to go through the window and the glass is going to sever a neck artery and I'm going to bleed out between the panes. Dear person who has to clean this mess up: I'm sorry. The computer did it. Stay away, it's evil."
The glass held. It didn't even crack as I scrambled so shove myself away from it. I stumbled backward, tripping over the evil keyboard - which had been on the bed moments before. Logically, one would assume I knocked it off the bed in my haste to get to the USB port, but I'm pretty sure it was just another Machiavellian move by the Computer of Doom to do me in. I landed on my back on my waterbed. I used my toes to grab the cord to the wireless and yank it out. The evil delete monster was halted. Plugging in a regular mouse, I was able to close the windows without saving - and thankfully the Google Docs autosave hadn't kicked in.
Tonight, I get to rip the keyboard apart and smudge it to remove the demonic entity inhabiting it. Hopefully that will work.
Is it sad that I would rather sit at home, ripping it apart to find the problem, than go buy a new one? Ugh.