Summary of Southand Tales

"Hi! I wrote and directed Donnie Darko! I have only one plot to tell and I intend to tell it in the worst way possible! This is what Donnie Darko should have been, but someone else was funding that and we had to do it on a smaller budget, so I couldn't have a megazeppelin. I WANTS ME SOME MEGAZEPPELIN! The meanies at the other movie made me tie the ending into the entire movie! Where's the fun in that?! I want something that's avante garde! Something edgy! Something totally new and different! What? Yes, I know I did this exact same movie better with Donnie Darko, but shut up! This is new! It's EDGIER! There are SUVs fucking! SUVs! FUCKING! That's never been in a movie before! Even Uwe Boll hasn't done that, and that crazy sumbitch has tried everything to get attention! Muahahaha.. hahaha.. hahahahaHAHAHAHA!"

Kill yourself before seeing this movie. Seriously. I watch bad movies for fun, but this wasn't even on the so-bad-it's-good-mockery list - it's just undredeemable shite. Even The Rock shirtless through most of the movie couldn't prevent the overwhelming urge to pry my frontal lobe out of my skull with a dull, rusty fork.