How to make apple butter
Jul. 4th, 2008 10:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spookyeviloneWhile rummaging in the pantry looking for chickpeas, come across not one but four large jars of organic, no sugar added applesauce.
Stare at it, mystified as to how it got there, why on earth such a large amount was ever purchased, and completely unable to remember what it was going to be used for. Decide it's just volunteered to become apple butter.
Search for crock pot. Find crock, but not pot. Put crock in dishwasher, eventually find pot. Forget you've put crock in dishwasher, spend half an hour searching for it, becoming very grumpy. Feel really, really stupid when the dishwasher dings and you open it, displaying the crock in all its pristine glory.
Put applesauce in crock pot with some spices, turn on high, make sure lid is precariously perched across only half the crock so the moisture can escape.
Worry about lid. Prop up with Laurell K. Hamilton books, because you don't care if they die a steam-damaged, apple-goo coated death.
Run around gathering camping gear, getting fit for linen pants, collecting tunics from various peoples, doing laundry, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, changing the kitty box, etc.
7 hours later, return home from the alcohol store and wonder why on earth your house smells like apple pie.
Remember that you left apple guts boiling on high, run into kitchen.
Trip on cat, almost fall face first into boiling crockpot of apple goo.
Send lid of crock pot flying when outstretched hand hits the stack of books. Lid: undamaged. Book: covered in condensation from the lid. All in all: That's a win.
Stir apple goo, which is browning but has not achieved butter consistency yet. Re-prop up lid.
Ignore for more time.
I figure by the time I wake up tomorrow, it will be sufficiently butter-like. Or else my house will be on fire.
Stare at it, mystified as to how it got there, why on earth such a large amount was ever purchased, and completely unable to remember what it was going to be used for. Decide it's just volunteered to become apple butter.
Search for crock pot. Find crock, but not pot. Put crock in dishwasher, eventually find pot. Forget you've put crock in dishwasher, spend half an hour searching for it, becoming very grumpy. Feel really, really stupid when the dishwasher dings and you open it, displaying the crock in all its pristine glory.
Put applesauce in crock pot with some spices, turn on high, make sure lid is precariously perched across only half the crock so the moisture can escape.
Worry about lid. Prop up with Laurell K. Hamilton books, because you don't care if they die a steam-damaged, apple-goo coated death.
Run around gathering camping gear, getting fit for linen pants, collecting tunics from various peoples, doing laundry, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, changing the kitty box, etc.
7 hours later, return home from the alcohol store and wonder why on earth your house smells like apple pie.
Remember that you left apple guts boiling on high, run into kitchen.
Trip on cat, almost fall face first into boiling crockpot of apple goo.
Send lid of crock pot flying when outstretched hand hits the stack of books. Lid: undamaged. Book: covered in condensation from the lid. All in all: That's a win.
Stir apple goo, which is browning but has not achieved butter consistency yet. Re-prop up lid.
Ignore for more time.
I figure by the time I wake up tomorrow, it will be sufficiently butter-like. Or else my house will be on fire.
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no subject
Date: 2008-07-05 04:18 am (UTC)Dude! I must commend you on finding an actual purpose for them!
no subject
Date: 2008-07-05 04:33 am (UTC)