April's Fool.

[spookyevilone]

Brother: *insinuating stupidity into otherwise normal conversation* I read the other day that Brendan Fraser died of a drug overdose..
Me: You're thinking Heath Ledger.
Brother: Was he the guy in George of the Jungle? Cuz it was that dude.
Me: .. No, he didn't.
Brother: Yeah, I'm pretty sure I read he did.
Me: You realize that I'm well aware that it's April 1, yes?
Brother: *siiiighs* Damnit. Yeah, April Fool's!
Me: Doesn't count. I didn't fall for it.
Brother: You never fall for it.
Me: That's because I don't have Aspberger's.
Brother: Neither do I.
Me: .. Uhhhhh.. hm.
Brother: What? I do not!
Me: Um. You didn't know?
Brother: What the hell are you talking about?!
Me: You have Aspberger's. Dude, Dad never told you?! He told all of us. We were told to be nice to you when you do stupid shit like this because you're special and you can't help it.
Brother: I f'ing do not! .. What's Aspberger's?
Me: A form of autism.
Brother: I do not have goddamn autism!
Me: Whatever it takes to get you through the day, bubbi..
Brother: I am not a retard!
Me: It's not retardation, it's autism. It means you're prone to doing things like making sure all your socks match up, getting twitchy when the gas tank is less than half full, having insane interests in things other people find boring or stupid, and playing really, really stupid pranks or jokes on people.
Brother: .. Fuck. Why didn't anyone ever tell me?!
Me: .. guess they didn't want you to feel like you were different. We all knew, though. I thought for sure you knew by now. It's been the new black for a couple years, with all sorts of shit online about it..
Brother: You know I don't read the internet.. shit. Guess I'm going to have to, now. Is it curable?
Me: Nope. Just gets worse as you get older.
Brother: Goddamnit. This sucks.
Me: Yeah.. sorry about your luck..
Brother: Wait.. it's April Fool's day.. this is a prank, right?!
Me: .. uh.. no. You know I don't do those.
Brother: It's a prank! You're totally punking me out on this.
Me: You wish.
Brother: I've got my ways of finding out for sure.
Me: Do whatcha gotta do, bubbikins.
Brother: Later.
*click*

A short while later..

Brother: Hi. I'm sorry I got shirty with you earlier. I didn't mean to accuse you of lying.
Me: Except I was.
Brother: .. what? No you weren't! [OtherBrother] confirmed it!
Me: What day is it, again?
Brother: April 1.
Me: And you think we're not both yanking your chain?
Brother: He wouldn't do that... and you don't do April Fool's pranks..
Me: Unless revenge is a motive for a really stupid one you failed to pull on me..
Brother: See, now I think you're pranking me, trying to get me to believe I don't have Aspberger's..
Me: *cracks up* I win.
Brother: You're so full of shit.
Me: I. WIN.
Brother: .. I hate you. I'm going to be freaked out about this until tomorrow..

And that, folks, is my one and only prank of the day.