Actual conversation time.

[spookyevilone]

S: I do not need more banana bread.
T: Yes you do.
T: Because I don't have any, and must vicariously enjoy it through you.
S: HEE!
S: But I already had two slices today!
T: No such thing as too much warm banana bread, S.
T: Quit being a fucking philistine and go have a piece of bread.
S: hahahah
S: Wait, how does me not eating bread make me a philistine?
T: You are undervaluing the beauty that is the perfection of banana bread.
S: hahahahahaha
T: YOU ASKED!
S: I thought you were implying I was a descendant of an Aegean tribesman, which would just not be cool at all.
S: I mean, Aegeans, really?
T: Would I do that to you?!
T: I mean, really. Aegeans?!
S: That's what I said!

Cut/pasted from the IM log.