On Facebook.

[spookyevilone]

I have one. I don't use my real name, because I am against having my name googleable and I really don't want to talk to people from grade or middle school.

It's appalling, how these people manage to find me anyway.

"Remember me?? We were playmates in gradeschool!"
Uh, sure. I remember you as the little bitch who went out of her way to make me a social pariah until I punched you in the face in fourth grade and finally got you to leave me alone.

"We went to highschool together."
Yes. I superglued a plastic parachute figurine to your penis after you abused my friend.

"I had a crush on you."
And you showed that by shoving me into a locker and almost breaking my nose. How could I have not known?! Just think, all this time, we could have had such a beautiful abusive relationship!

"Haya Hottie!"
LOLWHUT? You've clearly never met me. Ever.¹

"Remember me from fourth grade?"
I remember you wiped snot on my Trapper Keeper and I tackled you and wiped it back off on your hair.. Ah, good times.

"We dated in middle school."
We did? Why don't I remember this? *peers at userpic* Oh, LOL - you dated the OTHER person with my first name. And got her pregnant. Dude. That's sad.

"We had Russian class together!"
Great! пошёл ты на хуй.²

I'm half tempted to change my user profile to clear the riff raff.

"Hi. If your name isn't x, y, z, p, d, q, then I only remember you as an evil little shithead from school and really don't want to talk to you. If you've grown up and gotten over being an evil little shithead, good on ya and I wish you well, but kindly fuck right off and remain no more than a vaguely unpleasant memory for me. K thx bai."

---

¹ - this is not bad self esteem. My reaction to being called a 'hottie' is.. legend worthy in its violence.

²Go fuck yourself, lit. 'go sit on a prick'

Comments

[zippyfish.livejournal.com]

Hi. If your name isn't x, y, z, p, d, q, then I only remember you as an evil little shithead from school and really don't want to talk to you.

Woo! I MADE THE CUT!

[spookyevilone.livejournal.com]

Of course!

[exorcizo-te.livejournal.com]

I have to admit, I facebook friended all my high school friends just to see how many of them had ended up married with kids by now. What can I say? It's morbidly fascinating to see half the girls in my class having "baby play dates" with each other. ...And those were the ones that went to college. /shudder

[spookyevilone.livejournal.com]

I had, seriously, about four friends in highschool. Two of them are on my LJ, one is dead, and the other's friended on FB. All the other people are idiots I'd rather forget.

[misanthrope-mom.livejournal.com]

Facebook and Mysluts are just ways for me to annoy my husband. I'm currently slowly posting the "I saw the witchdoctor" lyrics as my status updates.

[spookyevilone.livejournal.com]

Heh. Awesome. I should start doing that .. obscure lyric posts.

[boogieshoes.livejournal.com]

i shouldn't be laughing, should i? *grins*

reminds me so much of my high school experiences, it's not even funny. one of the reasons i'm not sad to have moved away from my parents, even though i love st louis, is that the 'remember when's' aren't something i like to remember.

-bs

[spookyevilone.livejournal.com]

In a way, it's an advantage to my mother's brain melting out her ears. She's now nonverbal and can't answer the phone. People from highschool used to call her house looking for me, and she'd happily give my NONPUBLISHED CELL PHONE NUMBER to my "friends from school". My sister is not nearly so nice, even on the high swings to her bipolar disorder. She tells them to fuck off. *g* She thinks this bothers me.

[boogieshoes.livejournal.com]

*grins*

-bs