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[personal profile] spookyevilone
Chez Stamp was supposed to be a three-month layover until I was in my new house. When that fell through, I just didn't have the energy to deal with anything, and then my mother died, my job went away, and I don't deal well with change even when I'm firing on all cylinders. Staying at Chez Stamp was much easier than moving.

That changed when the living room ceiling started a reoccurring leak that springs up in a new place just as soon as the old leak gets patched. I have foam-filled beanbags as furniture. One of them is 7' long. I live in fear of the day I come home to a leak that's turned my couch into a giant sponge. And then there's the mold issue in the ceiling that is causing me to go broke buying allergy medication just so I can function. Thank gods Allegra-D is over the counter now.

I've found a lower level duplex that suits me. I go to sign the lease on that tonight. Part of me, the part that's been having all sorts of nesting urges for a year or more now, is happy that I'll have somewhere that I can decorate and arrange to suit me. The rest of me is anxious. Moving right now, with my job status being "contract" is stressful. Moving in winter is stressful. A small part of me is stressed out because I'm moving into a one-bedroom, which means it's only for a year or two until things stabilize, because there's this whole adoption plan and I can't resume that until I have at least a two bedroom. Oh, and a job that's stable for at least a year. But there's that whole looming 'moving in the future' stress just sitting there, staring me in the face.

Hell, moving at all is stressful. I have to pack my stuff, which requires sorting through said stuff to remove Stuff That Needs To Go Away Forever, putting stuff in boxes, moving it to a new location, unpacking the boxes, and then arranging the stuff in places that make sense to me. I dislike change at the best of times. On top of that, there will be Noises. It's a new neighborhood and a new house with a new neighbor living above me, and I have PTSD. Every new noise will have to be cataloged and filtered out before I'm comfortable. It'll take about a week, but it will be a week of little to no sleep because every noise will be startling me awake. My housewarming gift to myself may be Skyrim, because hey, if I'm not going to sleep anyway.. :p

On the up side of things, the walls are not beige. They are earth toned, different in every room, and the colours suit me. I can put things on the walls as long as I fill in holes after I leave. There is a small fireplace with a working and cleaned chimney. There are French doors into the bedroom. The kitchen is bigger than a one-butt. So is the bathroom, although I am not certain the tub/shower is. There's a mudroom for storage. There's a trapdoor in the kitchen to a crawlspace, in case I need to hide a body temporarily. There is off-street parking for winter so I don't get towed. I can garden and have carte blanche to put in whatever plants I want. It has hardwood floors throughout. It's on three major bus lines and two blocks away from the Light Rail. There's Pizza Luce, United Noodle, a co-op, an Aldis, and Sebastian Joe's, all within reasonable biking distance, which is either a really awesome thing or an 'oh gods, I'm going to go broke' thing. One of my requirements was 'must be within a Pizza Luce delivery area', which, if you've ever had their pizza, you totally understand. If you haven't had their pizza, you are missing out. Seriously.

The move is going to be a good thing. It's an incredibly anxious thing, and I am not looking forward to packing or unpacking AGAIN.. but it'll be a good thing once it's done.

Right now, I mostly need to be somewhere I can be happy. I need somewhere that feels like "home". Chez Stamp was never happy-making or home. It was make-do-until. Apparently after the original "until" fell apart, the new "until" became "until you are minutes away from teaching the building owner and manager what grievous bodily harm means". The kitchen is so small it gives me fits any time I try to do anything, the ceiling in the living room has turned into an indoor waterfall several times over the last eight months and is now a mold garden, and the claustrophobic layout means I can never have more than one person over at a time. Granted, I don't usually want to have more than one person over at a time, but occasionally I do and not having the option makes me a sad panda. The new place is laid out better, and I will have space to cook and feed people, and when I clean it, it will actually feel clean, which makes me happy. And like I said, right now, I need that.

Forward momentum.
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February 2014

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