spookyevilone: (Default)
Small rodents and rabbits do not carry rabies and their bites generally don't require stitches, as they are basically deep puncture wounds. Clean the wound, compress until bleeding stops. If it won't stop after a few hours, or if it's gushing like a hydrant, by all means, go to the ER. Otherwise, clean it, compress it, loosely bandage it and go to your primary care doctor to get a tetanus booster. If they even mention rabies, they are a freaking idiot who is not up to date on their CDC updates - neither small rodents nor rabbits have ever caused a case of human rabies.

This is one reason I wish there were better parent education classes. There are many other reasons. Someday, I will make a flow chart of 'When To Take Baby To The ER'. (Is the fever over 104? Has Baby had the fever for more than three days? Is Baby vomiting profusely? Is Baby in obvious respiratory distress? NO? Then stay the hell home, give tylenol and motrin and lots of cuddles.)
spookyevilone: (Default)
That Guy is off at IceFest, a chance for crazy people who like to climb to maneuver their way up flows of ice in sub-zero temperatures and windchill, potentially freezing fingers, toes and other random assorted bits of self off. So, he's doing his part to make sure there's no unauthorized progeny anytime soon. He says "fun", I say a way to keep core body temperature at sperm-killing lows, so it's all good.1

I'm doing my part. I went grocery shopping last night. Pretty much any shopping the month before $Winter_Holidays is the best form of birth control, I've found. Constant exposure to OtherPeople'sChildren. In the grocery store, I witnessed various spawn doing:

1) Picking nose and eating it. This might be in the grey area of socially acceptable for toddlers, but it is most definitely not for teenagers.
2) Opening boxes of cookies to throw them at a sibling. Parent's response was to close the package and put it back on the shelf. I grabbed it and handed it back to her child when she wasn't looking. It was in her cart when she checked out, so she wound up paying for it. (To add some meta to this, they were the brand of cookies that happens to be That Guy's real last name.)
3) Licking produce and sticking it in their mouths to be "funny". The parent put the saliva-and-biohazard coated produce back in the bin. If you ever needed a good reminder why you should always wash produce, now you have one. I figure this child is doing the world a favour. If they consume enough pesticides early enough in life, it should - in theory - damage their DNA enough that they can't reproduce. Hey, it worked on condors..
4) Running pell-mell across a slushy, wet, filthy tile floor, while shrieking and laughing. Parents didn't even suggest they slow down. I haven't wanted to stick my foot out and trip someone so badly in a long, long time.
5) Taking eggs out of the carton and dropping them, one by one, onto the floor to watch them smash. Which made me want to start doing the same thing, only using the child's pointy little head as a landing spot from the vantage of my lofty 5'3" height.
6) Picking their nose and wiping it on the glass doors to the dairy coolers. Not the same child as in #1.
7) Gnawing the freezerburn frost off the side of a plastic container of ice cream. If you guessed that the parent put the ice cream back in the freezer, you can give yourself a kudo.
8) Slapping people who walked by their cart. The child tried to do this to me. The Icy Glare of Death sent her bolting behind her father and I made my way past the cart un-slapped.
9) Shoplifting. Badly. I reported it to a store employee, because if they're stupid enough to do it where someone can see them, they deserve to get caught. Really, how else will they learn?
10) Breaking open a 3lb bag of rice - on purpose - to "skate" on it.

Most of these fall under the 'horrible parent' category. It's also a nice list of things my children will never, ever do. This is in part due to my belief that children are by nature maladjusted little sociopaths who need to have manners beaten into them by sheer force of stronger will before they're allowed out in public. Also that being out in public is a privilege, not a right, and being a parent means being a mostly-benevolent dictator who can and will revoke said privileges when the boundaries of socially acceptable behaviours have been broken.

I've had people smugly tell me that this is jinxing myself and that I will have horribly misbehaved children, or that "when I'm a parent, I'll understand". If I had horribly misbehaved children, nobody would ever know, because they would never be allowed in public. Since these children would, in theory, have half my genetic code, it's all too likely that everyone, including me, would be under the delusion that my children were sweet, innocent, mild-mannered and well-behaved offspring and not cleverly disguised demonic agents of chaos far too intelligent to get caught. I was a perfect angel as a child. Just ask anyone in my family, or anyone who ever met me at that age.

See what I mean?

The shopping experience last night made me very glad that most things can be accomplished online these days, and made me wish there was some sort of subsidized computer purchase program for families with obnoxious parents and unruly children. If there is, it's not being utilized properly. Given half a chance, I could market the hell out of a program like that. I would volunteer, if it kept even one of these horrorshows home and out of sight.



1 - Yes, he reads this journal. There is going to be an argument about the core body temperature comment, but I maintain that anyone who goes out in weather like this has either: 1) non-sperm-producing balls of steel or, 2) frozen them into uselessness. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it. Insert winter/tongue/lamp post vulgar analogy here.

Hi, That Guy. I can see the face you're making as you read this. That, of course, wouldn't have a darn thing to do with why I wrote it. *halo* I hope you have fun climbing ice, even if I think you're crazy.

Boobs.

Jul. 24th, 2009 10:20 am
spookyevilone: (Default)
In a NY IKEA, a breastfeeding mom who had everything covered was told she needed to use the bathroom for "that", and security escorted her there. It was in use. When she decided not to wait, security held her up at the door and checked her receipt.

Breastfeeding squicks me out. I don't care how "natural" it is or how good it is for the baby, the only time I ever want to see one mammal sucking on another is when there are fangs and an artery involved and even then, that shit should be covered with a blanket for decency.

That being said - it's the United States. I have the right to like or dislike what I choose and I have every right to walk away from a breastfeeding mother as though she's got a creeping and contagious set of cooties. That is my personal choice, based on my personal opinion.

The breastfeeding mother, on the other hand, is covered by law in 24 states - NY being one of them and MN being another - to breastfeed her baby in any public space or building whenever she damn well wants to, and she has the right to not half-smother her bite-sized larvae with a blanket if she chooses not to. I am utterly creeped out by the act, but I would be the first in line to organize the flash mob of boob-feeding women and their babies for a nurse-in at that store if I lived in that state. Hell, I live here and I'm half tempted to make a few calls, because I Know Some People in that state.

Breastfeeding, in 24 states, is a legally protected civil right. The term for denying someone a civil right is called discrimination. Discrimination should be fought by every right-thinking person any time they encounter it. The Civil Rights Act of 1875 provides: ""...all persons within the jurisdiction of the United States shall be entitled to the full and equal enjoyment of the accommodations, advantages, facilities, and privileges of inns, public conveyances on land or water, theaters, and other places of public amusement; subject only to the conditions and limitations established by law..." and the fact that we even need a law to protect a woman's right to feed her baby in public disgusts me far more than the act itself does.

For those who live in MN, here are the applicable statutes:

Minn. Stat. Ann. § 145.894 directs the state commissioner of health to develop and implement a public education program promoting the provisions of the Maternal and Child Nutrition Act. The education programs must include a campaign to promote breastfeeding.
Minn. Stat. § 145.905 provides that a mother may breastfeed in any location, public or private, where the mother and child are authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother's breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breastfeeding.
Minn. Stat. § 181.939 (1998) requires employers to provide daily unpaid break time for a mother to express breast milk for her infant child. Employers are also required to make a reasonable effort to provide a private location, other than a toilet stall, in close proximity to the workplace for this activity. (SB 2751)
Minn. Stat. Ann. § 617.23 specifies that breastfeeding does not constitute indecent exposure.

For those who live in other states, a good resource of statutes can be found here

If I spawn, I will probably breastfeed. I will probably be utterly squicked out the entire time and anyone smugly telling me otherwise or how much pregnancy changes how you think about things has clearly never met. There aren't enough pregnancy or mommyhood hormones IN THE WORLD to change how I feel about certain aspects of procreation. There are probably enough to keep me from sanitizing the child in the dishwasher, hosing it down with Lysol, or blasting it clean with a garden hose, as well as enough to keep it fed and relatively pain-free, but that doesn't mean I won't be documenting just how gross and disgusting the entire process of larval development is.

And I'll probably be doing it right here in this blog. Aren't you lucky.
spookyevilone: (Default)
Teachers beware

And people wonder why I loathe all "protect zer chilluns!" bullcrap.

This all started with plastic playground equipment. Plastic playground equipment is ruining our society. By not allowing children to get the normal bumps, scrapes, and contusions, we've raised an entire generation not capable of dealing with it when Baby Gets A Boo Boo. This has resulted in fear of damage and danger above and beyond anything that could have previously been considered reasonable. Parents have sprouted propellers and started hovering around their Special Little Snowflakes to ensure that SLS never encounters anything remotely unpleasant. When unpleasantness rears its head, Helicopter Parent swoops in, guns blazing, aimed for the nearest target because OF COURSE, SLS could not possibly be at fault. That would mean taking responsibility! Consequences to actions! Something that has been steadily and frighteningly removed from the curriculum of the modern child since sometime in the 80's. When good, old fashioned, wooden and metal playground equipment on sand bases was replaced with plastic atop 8" of shredded rubber.

This teacher's life and livelihood were directly and negatively and permanently impacted by the actions of one vindictive parent. The teacher's only crime was for suspending her SLS after said SLS pulled the pants down on a girl in his class. It wasn't for the original issue of .. y'know.. the SLS having semi-naked pictures of young girls on his phone. Meanwhile, what happened to SLS? What consequences happened to the disgusting, immature little shithead who thought it was ok to humiliate one of his classmates? Two day suspension from school - but what did Helicopter Parent do at home? Were there consequences, or did she spend those two days buying SLS an XBox 360 Elite and consoling him that the Big Bad Teacher would never be able to suspend him again?

I'd bet a coke I've already written the answer.

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