spookyevilone: (Default)
After re-watching Jurassic Park and Lost World for about the billionth time, and going to IMDB and looking at what Spielberg has done since then, I am forced to conclude that Spielberg has either:

1) Suffered a traumatic brain injury;
2) Suffered a stroke;
3) Developed dementia

since then. Because those movies, even this many years later, make me go "GUH!" Admittedly, Lost World less so than Jurassic Park but at least it had different dinos. The use of CGI and the seamless meshing with the puppets always makes me point at the screen and go, "This?? THIS IS HOW YOU USE CGI!" Nobody does that anymore. You can now tell which parts of a movie are CGI because .. it's like the effects company made it slightly sloppier just so you can TELL. I don't want to be able to tell. If I can tell, it's failing its purpose in the movie.

Jurassic Park 3 doesn't exist in my world.

I also just found out that he's the person doing the TV version of Stephen King's 'The Talisman' - and I suspect that he's going to put me into a frothing rage with it. Brought to you by the same screenwriter who did Transformers 2 and is writing Transformers 3.

Yes, folks, after Transformers 2.. Spielberg and Ehren gave each other high fives and decided to make a third movie. See what I mean about brain damage?
spookyevilone: (Default)
When Satan and Hitler are leading a snowball fight in Hell.

I'm Native American. I sat through Pocahontas once, while babysitting, and that was one time far too many.

Until a white man moves to a res, gets accepted by the tribe, rises up against the unfair conditions of life on a res, takes up the sword of broken treaty defense, and leads a rebellion against the U.S. Gov't and wins, I have no desire to see any movie with that plot.

At this time, movies like that Pocahontas, Dances With Wolves, Thunderheart, etc., are nothing more than white folks' guilty consciences re-writing imaginary history to pat themselves on the back and feel good about how yeah, that's how things would go down! Except that at no point in history has that ever gone down. No minority uprising has ever been lead by a white man.

It's making bank because it's pretty. Not because of the plot. I'm capable of watching movies with no plot - I have sat through every movie Vin Diesel and The Rock have been in - but I refuse to pay to see this movie because I absolutely do not want to enable Hollywood churning out 20 more movies with the exact same crappy plot as Avatar.
spookyevilone: (Default)
A+ on the visuals, but the story, voice acting, and characters were made of fail.

The best commentary that came out of the post-bad-movie snark was:

Me: "This movie needs to be shown to all children, everywhere. Starting in kindergarten."

That Guy nodded and responded: "Never stick the outty thing into the inny thing or big scary monsters will come out and kill you and all your friends."

And this is why I keep him around.

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spookyevilone

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